Going through a custody case in New York City and dealing with a narcissistic parent can be a difficult and emotional experience. Narcissists are well known for their self-centered behavior and lack of empathy, which can make it extremely challenging to effectively co-parent and to maintain a primary focus on the best interests of the child.
It is important to expand on the general broad term of labeling someone a “narcissist” in Court. Most likely your Judge is not qualified to diagnose the other party and neither is an attorney. Focus on arguing the specific narcissistic traits of the other parent, as this can help you to prepare for and navigate the custody case to assist the Court in making a proper determination. This will help you in increasing your chances at obtaining the outcome you are looking for.
Here are a few key traits to focus on:
A sense of entitlement: Narcissists may believe they are entitled to special treatment and expect others to cater to their needs. This can manifest in a variety of ways, such as expecting preferential treatment in court or demanding that the child spend more time with them. They may also expect to make all the decisions regarding the child and not take into account the other parent's opinion.
Manipulation: Narcissists will often use manipulation tactics to get what they want and often times end up using their children as pawns. This can include playing on the child's emotions or using their custody case as a way to control or punish the other parent. They may also use their charm and charisma to sway the court in their favor.
Lack of boundaries: Narcissists may not respect the boundaries of their children and may invade their privacy. This can include monitoring their child's social media, reading their diary, or listening in on phone calls. They may also use their access to the child as a way to control or manipulate the other parent.
Lack of accountability: Narcissists may blame others for their mistakes and avoid taking responsibility for their actions. They never seem to be at fault (sound familiar?) This can make it difficult to hold them accountable for their behavior during the custody case, and they may try to shift the blame to the other parent.
Difficulty accepting criticism: Narcissists may react poorly to constructive feedback or criticism, and may see it as a personal attack. This can make it challenging to work towards a resolution in the custody case, as they may refuse to acknowledge their own mistakes or take responsibility for their actions.
Self-centeredness: Narcissists often prioritize their own needs and wants over those of their children. They may be unwilling to make sacrifices or compromises in order to ensure the well-being of the child, and may use the child as a way to gain validation and admiration from others.
It is important to document any instances of these behaviors and present them to your lawyer as evidence in court. Not every e-mail, text message or conversation is relevant so let your attorney decide what is best given your case, judge and unique set of facts. It's also important to have a strong legal representation and be prepared to advocate for your rights as a parent in court and you can contact us here at Mindin & Mindin for a free phone consultation to discuss your matter.
Ultimately, the most important thing is the well-being of your child, and the court will take this into the highest level of consideration when making a decision about custody. However, it's also crucial to be aware of the potential manipulation tactics that a narcissistic parent may use, and to be prepared to counter them. With the right preparation and support, our experienced attorneys can navigate a custody case with a narcissistic parent and work towards a resolution that is in the best interests of your child.
Not all individuals with these traits are narcissists and these traits can manifest differently on different people. For this reason, it is not proper to openly diagnose someone as a narcissist when you are in Court…leave that to the experts. However, if these traits are causing harm to your child or yourself it's important to seek help. Additionally, it's important to be aware that the court may not consider these traits as a sole reason to deny the other parent custody, but it can be used as evidence to show that the child's well-being is at risk if placed under the care of the parent with these traits.
Contact us today for a free phone consultation to discuss how we can help your family.